The Question Paper....

One Night 4engineering students were playing till late night and could
not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the
morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty
with grease and dirt. They then went up to thePrincipal and said that
they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire
of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and
that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So, thePrincipal said that they could have the re-test after 3 days.
They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time. On the
third day they appeared before the Principal, thePrincipal said that
as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in
separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared
well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks. See Below
for the question paper

Q.1. Name of the car? (2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tyre burst? (98 MARKS)

a) Front Left b) Front Right c) Back Left d) Back Right

When you hire people smarter than you, you prove that you are smarter than them.

Five surgeons the best patients to operate on.

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed:"You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

Interesting Facts...

[1] FORTNIGHT comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks).

[2] POP MUSIC is 'Popular Music' shortened.

[3] MOPED is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'.

[4] BUS is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody.

[5] DRAWING ROOM was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped..

[6] NEWS refers to information from Four directions
N, E, W, and S.

[7] AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'.

[8] QUEUE comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest..

[9] JOURNAL is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business.

[10] TIPS come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.

[11] JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'.GP was changed into JEEP later.

[12] Coca-Cola was originally green.

[13] The most common name in the world is Mohammed..

[14] The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with Asia, America, Australia, Europe

[15] The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

[16] TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

[17] Women BLINK nearly twice as much as men!!

[18] You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

[19] It is impossible to lick your elbow.

[20] Wearing HEADPHONES for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

[21] It is physically impossible for PIGS to look up into the sky.

[22] The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

[23] Each KING in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.

Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

[24] What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?

Ans. - All invented by women.

[25] A CROCODILE cannot stick its tongue out.

[26] A SNAIL can sleep for three years.

[27] All POLAR BEARS are left handed.

[28] BUTTERFLIES taste with their feet.

[29] ELEPHANTS are the only animals that can't jump.

[30] In the last 4000 years, no new ANIMALS have been domesticated.

[31] STEWARDESSES is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

[32] The human HEART creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

[33] RATS multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

[34] People say "BLESS YOU" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

[35] If you SNEEZE too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. So good to bless the sneezing person.

Gabbrsings Positive .....must read

गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण
1. सादा जीवन, उच्च विचार: उसके जीने का ढंग बड़ा सरल था. पुराने और मैले कपड़े, बढ़ी हुई दाढ़ी, महीनों से जंग खाते दांत और पहाड़ों पर खानाबदोश जीवन. जैसे मध्यकालीन भारत का फकीर हो. जीवन में अपने लक्ष्य की ओर इतना समर्पित कि ऐशो-आराम और विलासिता के लिए एक पल की भी फुर्सत नहीं. और विचारों में उत्कृष्टता के क्या कहने! 'जो डर गया, सो मर गया' जैसे संवादों से उसने जीवन की क्षणभंगुरता पर प्रकाश डाला था.

२. दयालु प्रवृत्ति: ठाकुर ने उसे अपने हाथों से पकड़ा था. इसलिए उसने ठाकुर के सिर्फ हाथों को सज़ा दी. अगर वो चाहता तो गर्दन भी काट सकता था. पर उसके ममतापूर्ण और करुणामय ह्रदय ने उसे ऐसा करने से रोक दिया.


3. नृत्य-संगीत का शौकीन: 'महबूबा ओये महबूबा' गीत के समय उसके कलाकार ह्रदय का परिचय मिलता है. अन्य डाकुओं की तरह उसका ह्रदय शुष्क नहीं था. वह जीवन में नृत्य-संगीत एवंकला के महत्त्व को समझता था. बसन्ती को पकड़ने के बाद उसके मन का नृत्यप्रेमी फिर से जाग उठा था. उसने बसन्ती के अन्दर छुपी नर्तकी को एक पल में पहचान लिया था. गौरतलब यह कि कला के प्रति अपने प्रेम को अभिव्यक्त करने का वह कोई अवसर नहीं छोड़ता था.


4. अनुशासनप्रिय नायक: जब कालिया और उसके दोस्त अपने प्रोजेक्ट से नाकाम होकर लौटे तो उसने कतई ढीलाई नहीं बरती. अनुशासन के प्रति अपने अगाध समर्पण को दर्शाते हुए उसने उन्हें तुरंत सज़ा दी.

5. हास्य-रस का प्रेमी: उसमें गज़ब का सेन्स ऑफ ह्यूमर था. कालिया और उसके दो दोस्तों को मारने से पहले उसने उन तीनों को खूब हंसाया था. ताकि वो हंसते-हंसते दुनिया को अलविदा कह सकें. वह आधुनिक यु का 'लाफिंग बुद्धा' था.


6. नारी के प्रति सम्मान: बसन्ती जैसी सुन्दर नारी का अपहरण करने के बाद उसने उससे एक नृत्य का निवेदन किया. आज-कल का खलनायक होता तो शायद कुछ और करता.


7. भिक्षुक जीवन: उसने हिन्दू धर्म और महात्मा बुद्ध द्वारा दिखाए गए भिक्षुक जीवन के रास्ते को अपनाया था. रामपुर और अन्य गाँवों से उसे जो भी सूखा-कच्चा अनाज मिलता था, वो उसी से अपनी गुजर-बसर करता था. सोना, चांदी, बिरयानी या चिकन मलाई टिक्का की उसने कभी इच्छा ज़ाहिर नहीं की.


8. सामाजिक कार्य: डकैती के पेशे के अलावा वो छोटे बच्चों को सुलाने का भी काम करता था. सैकड़ों माताएं उसका नाम लेती थीं ताकि बच्चे बिना कलह किए सो जाएं. सरकार ने उसपर 50,000 रुपयों का इनाम घोषित कर रखा था. उस युग में 'कौन बनेगा करोड़पति' ना होने के बावजूद लोगों को रातों-रात अमीर बनाने का गब्बर का यह सच्चा प्रयास था.


9. महानायकों का निर्माता: अगर गब्बर नहीं होता तो जय और व??रू जैसे लुच्चे-लफंगे छोटी-मोटी चोरियां करते हुए स्वर्ग सिधार जाते. पर यह गब्बर के व्यक्तित्व का प्रताप था कि उन लफंगों में भी महानायक बनने की क्षमता जागी.

What is your occupation?

The officer at the Driving License counter asked the lady "What is your occupation?" The woman seeking renewal of her license seemed to be puzzled. So the officer said "Ma'am, are you employed, have your own business or........
The woman replied "Oh, yes!! I have a full time occupation.
I am a mother"

Officer: "We don't have 'mother' as an option for occupation. I will write it down as 'Housewife'. That takes care of all questions."

This had happened long ago, and was forgotten. Years later when I went to get my license, the Public Relations Officer was a somewhat pompous.woman.

"Your occupation?" she asked in a rather authoritative tone.
I just had an inspiration and replied "I am a researcher in the field of Child Development, Nutrition and Inter-personal Relationships"

The lady officer stared at me in amazement. I calmly repeated my statement and she wrote it down verbatim. Then, unable to conceal her curiosity, she politely asked "What exactly do you do in your profession, Ma'am?"

I was feeling good about having described my occupation so calmly and confidently. So I replied "My research projects have been going on for a number of years (Mothers never retire!!). My research is conducted in the laboratory as well as in the field. 

I have two bosses. (One is God and the other is my entire family). I have received two honours in this field. (A son and a daughter) My topic is considered to be the most difficult part of sociology.(All moms will agree!!). I have to work more than 14 hours every day.

Sometimes even 24 hours are not enough and the challenges are tougher than many
other professions. My compensation is in terms of mental satisfaction rather
than money"

I could see that the officer was thoroughly impressed. After completing the licensing formalities, she came to the door to see me off. This new viewpoint about my occupation made me feel much better on my way back home. I was welcomed by my 5 year old research assistant at the door. My new project (my 6 month old baby) was energetically practicing her 'music'.

I had earned a small victory over the Governmental red tape today. I was no longer 'merely a mother', instead I was now a highly placed functionary in a service vital for mankind -Motherhood!!

'Mother' - Isn't it a great title. Fit to be added to the nameplate on the door!! By this standard, grandmothers deserve to be called Senior Research Officers, and Great Grandmothers qualify as 'Research Directors'. Aunts and other ladies of that age group can be called 'Research Facilitators'

Please share this with all mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, all ladies currently holding posts like didi-tai-chachi-mami-mausi-bua ...... They will all shower you with blessings and life will be happier.

Only GOD can understand us !!!!!!!!

Swarg ke dwar pe 3 log khade the....

God : Sirf 1 hi andar ja sakta hai....

1st : Main Brahmin hu, sari umar
aapki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera hak hai....
Bhagwan Kuch Nahi bole

2nd : Main Doctor hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera haq hai....
Bhagwan Kuch Nahi bole

3rd : Main sari umar Private Company mein kam kiya hai.... ......

Bhagwan Bole :Bus......... aage kuch mat bol.... Rulaayega kya pagle..? Andar aa ja......... Tere forwarded mails, follow-ups, promotion nahi milne ka wo 6 saal, month end, quarter end, year ends me woh night shifts, data nahi milne se doosra departments se panga, CTC se zaada deductions, raat me ghar jane ka lafda , family ko na time dene ki frustrations, boss se meetings, delivery dates, week ends mein kaam etc etc. mere ko senti kar diya re..aja jaldi andar aja.......

Equations - Check It Out

Equations!

- This is the best I have read in a LONG time

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

+++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

+++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +

To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

so, therefore to conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happilytogether!

Howzzzzzaatt Guys....